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"Silver Surfer #1" Every once in a while the comic gods send down a book that you can sum up in 3 words. Everyone knows exactly what the book is about, and immediately knows whether they’re going to like it or not. I don’t even have to give you a review on this one, I can just throw these 3 words out there and save you a lot of reading time:

Dan Slott’s Nexus 

If you don’t know who Dan Slott is or have never read any Nexus, go do that first, then come back.

Mike Baron, you should call up Marvel and ask them if they’re ready to get serious about how wild they want to go with this.

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"Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher" My first thoughts on booting this up last night: Fuck Yeah, New Punisher movie!! My last thoughts on shutting it down: Well, either I don’t like Punisher or don’t like movies, because this is on the top of my ‘Fuck This’ list for the week, and my ‘Fuck This’ list includes doing taxes.

Full disclosure, I goddamn hate anime. And I’ve tried, lord how I’ve tried, I even lived in Japan for a year and tried there. The only thing I’ve ever been able to tolerate was Golgo 13 and Samurai Champloo, but I’ve watched close to 100 other anime movies and episodes and cannot force myself to give a shit. Its like Indian Food, I hate that shit, too, but I still eat at every Indian Restaurant I can find because I have reached the stage of my buddha monk training where the only enemy I have left to defeat is myself. If I can overcome my dislike of Indian Food and Anime then I will achieve godhead, and will be able to beat all of your asses at the same time. Actually you need to file that away under Important Info, if you ever see me polish off a plate of Rasgulla and say “that was almost as good as that Bebop in the Shell episode I watched last night” you best pack up shop because I just hit Perfect Mental Weapon State and shits about to get Last 10 Minutes of Game of Death.

Anyway, ACBWP is very, very anime. Like most anime girls, Black Widow looks like she’s about 15 and carries 50% of her body weight in her ass and taddies. Frank Castle is in full on ninja mode, he warps from one location to another leaving only speed lines and bodies in his wake, and kills more people by face palming their heads into walls with his Super Punches than he does with guns. His sole weaknesses are his blinding speed and invulnerability, which can only be matched by Black Widow doing midair flips over him in slow motion. There was a single mildly entertaining scene in all the Matrix combat when Black Widow’s boyfriend punches her in the cooter in midair, follows up with a second high speed external fisting, and finally cunt punts her off a balcony. I rewinded in disbelief and watched that part again twice, last time I saw a woman’s pelvis take that kind of pounding on film was Annabel Chong in the World’s Biggest Gangbang.

The plot is boilerplate crapola, it has to do with some kind of genetically modified robot army led by random Stereotypical Emo Robot Anime Guy. I haven’t hated a character this much since I realized they were going to make me play as Raiden the whole time in Metal Gear 2. Add in magic cell phones, brainwashing, nerdy anime hacker kid, anime Pokemon dog/fox creature, and Voltron- I mean the Avengers, show up at the end. To be honest, I don’t really remember that part, I was more focused on a really intense game of Candy Crush I had going on by then.

Soundtrack is unacceptable Video Game Stock Extreme Butt Rock Metal. Things I did like: They had a 5 second scene with the murder kite straight out of Punisher War Journal #2. And… um… I think there was a scene where… well… Anyway, Punisher War Journal #2 was bad-fucking-ass. I did a whole review on it that even the writer approved, I’ll post a link. As a matter of fact, spend whatever money you were going to use to rent ACBWP and go get yourself a copy of Punisher War Journal #2, and read it 9 times in a row. That will take you about 90 minutes, and will be 3 times more entertaining, one for every time you don’t have to watch Black Widow getting her ladyhood assaulted. Extreme Booty.

PWJ #2!!!: http://frankssaladdays.com/2012/07/08/war-journal-november-1988-april-1989/

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"Moon Knight #2" Instant classic. Even if you’ve never heard of Moon Knight or never plan to read another Moon Knight book  (this is my second ever) this ranks as probably one of the top 50 single issues of comics period. Huge triumph of page layout, character art, and storytelling, pretend its the best issue of 100 Bullets transposed to another universe.  I read it twice in a row, I haven’t done that in a very long time. If Batman were cooler than Batman, he would be Warren Ellis, Declan Shalvey, and Jordie Bellaire’s Moon Knight. Vera Raw.

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"Punisher #3" The last two reviews I’ve spent a lot of time listing a lot of great reasons why I like this current run, so I’m not going to rehash them here. I will say that The Art of Mitch Gerads continues to be some of the most dynamic use of color in current comics, my current favorite along with Samnee and Rodriguez over on Daredevil.  I’m digging the new facemask, though it does look like a good way to get shot in the face. Nathan Edmondson is keeping the RPMs up through this book, this is not a slow burn. Electro still feels a little out of place, but I can deal with it. Oddly, this issue has no credits on the title page. Recommended, go get it. RAW.

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"Night of the Living Deadpool #4" I’m sick to death of zombies. I burnt out on the Walking Dead TV Show, and I’m starting to get tired of the comic (but the Telltale Game is still spinning a hell of a story, franchise best).  Even so, I’m willing to put the zombie fatigue aside for this book for several reasons: 1. Significant portion of the book was spent on a Monkey Island Navigator’s Head joke, 2. It has "Young Guns" in it, and 3. Any book with the phrase "Every time a 9mm rings, an angel gets its wings" in it gets an automatic A+ rating. Recommended, RAW, Love the shit out of some Cullen Bunn Deadpool.  Has anyone ever told you how talented Ramon Rosanas is? No? Well I just did.

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fantagraphics:

lucyknisley:

How I became “That Antisocial Girl” in my weekend letterpress class.

Comics are beautiful and intricate stories and artwork that you can HAVE so EASILY for way less than they’re worth, and if you’re going to steal them anyway, please just don’t talk to me about it or call yourself “into” them thanks.

(This guy was a “designer,” too. No excuse.)

But letterpress is really fun.

Lucy Knisley

Source: lucyknisley
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"Thunderbolts 22" Still stumbling around a car wreck at the intersection of Comedy and Action, this series has improved as Soule finds his groove and the setup jokes get tighter. If you’re here because you’re a fan of Elektra, Venom, Punisher, or Ghost Rider and expecting to see some Hardcore Badassery, you’re not going to like it. But if you just pretend it says Thunderbolts 2099 on the cover, you’re going to be just fine. De-so. 

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"Punisher #2" Coming off a strong first issue, this is the follow up where we start to see the full scope of the new world and the characters in it. Nathan Edmondson keeps the action moving, and while I’m not as blown away as I was with issue #1 (more on that in a minute), this is an excellent book and is the strongest take on the character since Ennis in 2000.

First, The Art of Mitch Gerads is beautiful. The color themes, especially, are perfect, and synergize with the pencils in ways that can only happen with artists pulling double duty on pens and colors. First pages have the pink overtone, then the green of the night vision in the next two, finally the blues of the desert evening (which is hampered slightly by an out of place ad page), this is truly an experience, and I really, really appreciate Mitch taking the time to understand the layout as the reader will see it on the printed page and the overall effect. The quality and craftsmanship is outstanding, I hope this doesn’t overload him in the long run, but he is one of my new favorites. His anatomy and character art is excellent, too, every time I look at Frank it brings to mind Max Payne 3 and all of the excellent hard-assed whiskey soaked one liners throughout, which accentuates Edmondson’s renewed focus on giving Frank a personality. Really top quality stuff, I can’t say enough praise about Edmondson’s revival of the Mike Baron era Frank, and Mitch’s pitch perfect transfer to the page.

Few quibbles: Lots of readers are praising the new Tactical Spec Ops Operator vision of Frank Castle. Rucka started this trend a couple years back, and in a way it works, but in a way it also hurts. Let’s face it, what Frank does is impossible. In reality, there’s no way any one person alone can face down the armies that he does routinely. When the story and art accentuates the authenticity of Frank’s tactics, it also unwittingly highlights the unreality of the character, and destroys some of the Suspension of Disbelief. There’s a fine balance in there somewhere, but I don’t expect Nathan and Mitch to be slaves to authenticity.

The Hawkeye tshirt was a big mistake. It really stuck out and was very distracting, they might as well have put a giant Spider-Man head on his shirt. It didn’t fit with the character they’re building, and doesn’t really belong in this book. Some of the appeal of Punisher is that he’s a step out of sync with the greater Marvel U, putting a big reminder in there drew the reader right back out again. Plus its just silly, Frank would never buy or wear that shit, it read more like bad product placement. Along those same lines the addition of AIM and a Certain Marvel U Baddie didn’t really fit for me, I didn’t like it but didn’t hate it either, we’ll see where it goes. Personally I’d prefer they keep that shit over in Thunderbolts and the Spider-Man Team Up books, time and time again has proven that nothing blows a Punisher book off the rails faster than throwing in superheros.

Overall a very solid book. Excellent new cast of characters, build up, and execution. Hopefully the Breaking Bad-ttle Van will be making a comeback in the future (yes I had to sneak that pun back in there) loved it. Excellent book, RAW, go buy it!!

PS Variant cover pictured by Jerome Opeña.

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Did Steven Grant and Dark Horse Comics Create Assassin's Creed in 1994?